Soul Purpose

Anne: Hello.

Mel: Hello, and welcome to Coffee, Tea and Consciousness, or —

Anne: Conversation. I'm Anne.

Mel: C-squared. Okay, I'm Mel. Annie, what are we going to talk about today?

Anne: I think a big thing for us was figuring out our soul purpose — why we chose to come here. What we found is that everyone comes with a blueprint, something you're working toward or wanting to experience in this lifetime. They've kind of got it mapped out. And what we found is that most of the time it has nothing to do with your career, which we've always been taught is the most important thing. For some it might be, but for a lot of people, that hasn't been the case.

Mel: I can't remember how this started. Do you remember how we found it out? I know I've been wanting to know my purpose for a number of years, but do you remember how it started? Because I don't really remember.

Anne: That just happened within the last year — a couple of years.

Mel: So before then we were just fucking about — that is true. But before then we were even fucking about more, because I thought I was meant to be a workhorse. I really found my value in working.

Anne: I found out a lot of stuff once I got the dowsing rods. I was able to connect and I was given names of towns in countries I know nothing about. I'd take that and have Mel see what she could get, because I'd be given the name and then she'd go in and see. That explained a lot — I haven't done the things my dad would think were the right things to do. You work, you save your money, you're responsible. I did the exact opposite. I chose to be a stay-at-home mom instead. Because in other lifetimes I had done the other things — I had a life dealing with rocks.

Mel: Okay, now I remember. So Annie and I — in the introduction we said we had our awakening in 2010, in the autumn, because I remember the leaves lighting up like they were in technicolor. And then we fucked about, which was fine — we just didn't know what we didn't know, but we were learning things that we didn't know existed before. Like, this isn't our only lifetime.

Anne: Mm-hmm. It was more about manifesting when we first got into it.

Mel: Yes. We were really manifesting — I felt like I worked at a job manifesting problems. I did a great job. I was manifesting all the time, but I manifested problems on purpose, thinking they'd bring me solutions. Instead it was just more awfulness. So how I remember it is: when you were talking, I remembered. Incredibly, I was given this book back in 2010 by my therapist. Annie read it too, and both of our heads blew off. We just woke up to more things being possible. We navigated the manifesting world and started into spirituality — though I wouldn't say we were totally into spirituality until maybe the last five years, when we really moved further into the spiritual side of life.

Mel: Then I manifested a pizza shop, which broke me. And in breaking me, it also made me want to seek more information. I'd been meditating for years and had seen some things for myself. Then one day I was helping a friend meditate — going through a meditation process with him — and all of a sudden I was somewhere not in this world. I was in what I'd now call a past life. I don't know if any of that's true, but that's where it looked like I was. And I could give him information about his current lifetime. I called Annie immediately — I was like, oh my God. Can we do it? Because energy is everything. If I can connect to energy, I should be able to connect to you, even though we live in different states — I'm in Michigan, she's in Georgia.

Mel: We knew something was happening when I was tapping into Annie's energy and came across the number 13, related to an experience for her mom. Annie said, "No, that happened when she was 17." I said, "I don't know, I'm getting 13 — a flashing pizza sign, 1313." It didn't matter — I didn't know if any of it was true, and neither did she. Then her mom came to visit, and Annie called me and said, "Mel, it was 13. I thought it was 17." Because we've been friends for so many years, I thought, maybe I just know a lot of stuff I didn't know I knew — but I wouldn't have known that, because she didn't even know it.

Anne: Yeah.

Mel: So at the same time I'm going through this experience of being able to read energy — I can read it on almost anything, except money. I'm always wrong on the lottery numbers. Meanwhile Annie's watching videos on TikTok about dowsing rods. She ordered a pair, and they worked for her like magic — like she's a magic eight ball.

Anne: That was the turning point for me, because I'm not good at visualizing — I'm good at feeling, and the rods gave me proof. Seeing it happen was confirmation. And when I'm on the rods, I can feel whose energy is on it, which was interesting. So the rods were a big turning point in this journey.

Mel: She'd get on the rods and they'd give her letters — we didn't know to ask about a past life, we didn't know any of this yet. They'd give her letters, and then she'd wait to see if I could tap into the same thing, without telling me, because she wanted to make sure I wasn't just going to look it up on Google.

Mel: The first time it happened — do you remember? You were in the Middle East. She gives me this word, I'm connected to spirit, and all of a sudden I see a flat map, like a paint-by-numbers. I'm describing where I'm at on this flat map — I didn't know if it was a state or a country, I just knew we were near the sea. And then spirit went on to tell us why that was significant.

Anne: Was that the one with the rocks, or was it when we were at a bazaar as kids?

Mel: That's when I tried to kill you — no wait, that was different.

Anne: No, that was another time. This was when we were little kids in that life. That explained our connection and why we came together — we've had quite a few lives together.

Mel: Right. I had my Akashic records done, sort of walked through it, and found out I was a lot of murderers. In one of the lifetimes where Anne and I were together, I stabbed her in the back — I was very jealous. Whatever, jealousy is an emotion, it's fine. Through that we learned what our purpose is. Annie, you want to talk about yours?

Anne: Mine is to use my voice and be a disruptor. I never really understood the disruptor part, but I think it's doing things not the way we've been taught we're supposed to — the opposite way. The voice part, using my voice, speaking my truth — that clicked more once you had that past-life reading done. It opened up this whole bigger thing than just... I don't even know how to explain it. It expanded this whole journey we'd been on, and our beliefs.

Mel: At first it was all about learning that you can manifest not just things but experiences, and how to live — that we have more than one lifetime. It took me a while to connect that to the spiritual part, though. At first it was about using energy to move things in the direction I wanted. Then I wanted it to be more than just stuff and life.

Anne: It also brought in beliefs for me — my belief system. I've been digging at that a lot lately, trying to figure out why certain things trigger me, even though that doesn't seem related to purpose.

Mel: It is part of the journey, though. You have to start looking at you — we did come here to be human. When we started seeing past lives, in her way and in my way, and then used it to see other people's, I still don't think I fully understand mine either. My purpose is the light.

Mel: Up until last year I didn't even know what that meant. They kept showing me this image of a light getting turned on in a mirror — I'm looking at myself, and the light turns on. I still don't fully know what it means. I don't like being called a disruptor, even though I don't really know what that means either.

Mel: Then one day, coming out of a meditation, I asked the same question — I don't know what it means to be the light, how do you be it? I felt spirit say: sometimes the light is harsh when it's turned on. And I love being that. I love to tell you things. Even as a kid, my mom used to say, "You gotta be nice, Mel." And going through our awakening, even the spiritual community was all about being kind, being nice, being happy. I don't know about "nice," but I do value being kind. Except — sometimes I'm happiest when I get to be the biggest dick in the room. I love it. I was a murderer, after all, and I've been like that since I was a kid — saying stuff out loud, saying what other people won't say. I loved being that person, even if I still don't fully know how it's used in a spiritual or soul way.

Anne: I think there's a way to say it that doesn't have to be vicious. You point something out, and the person either takes it or they don't.

Mel: The problem is I like to be vicious. Let me give an example. I'm driving down my street, and there's a man at the end of the road near the stop sign — beautiful yard, probably retired, tends it constantly. He started monitoring how fast I'd come in and out of the neighborhood in my big, loud van. He'd yell at me for going too fast — I wasn't going too fast. One day I'm coming home and he gives me a thumbs up, like, "finally, she's not going too fast." I stopped the car and started yelling at him — I don't know who you think you are, telling me I'm doing a good job because I happen to be doing what you like. I'm always driving the speed limit, it's 25, I have kids, I don't want to hit a kid or a dog.

Mel: He goes on about how his dog got hit by a car. That's not my fault — and also, whose responsibility was it to have that dog fenced up? I told him I was sorry his dog got hit, because I have a dog too, Ernie, and I love him so much. But it's not my job to make you happy by doing what you want. Not my job. My whole life is: I'm not here to make you happy. Listen, motherfuckers, you do you. My husband Jimmy calls it my "angry eyes." I don't really want to put them away — sometimes I want to look at you like that.

Mel: I've been taught and trained by the spiritual community, by my mother, by every teacher and every human I know, that I should probably be a little nicer. I don't fucking want to. I don't just say shit to be mean — I wouldn't have stopped and been a dick just to be a dick. I think he needed to hear a few things. Right now that's what I'm taking it as: the light gets to say shit out loud.

Anne: We've learned you could also say, "maybe it was your dog's time to go" — because we pick our blueprint, and we also pick when we're going to leave.

Mel: Totally possible. So why be pissed at all the neighbors?

Anne: You pick different things, and if you get off track, certain experiences are there to get you back on track. It's a whole thing.

Mel: Want to share some of the other purposes we've learned about, to give people examples?

Anne: My husband Tony — we're in the same soul family — is also supposed to use his voice, but his version is making change in the corporate world, which he hates, because he doesn't enjoy confrontation. It's funny — he's a Libra, hates confrontation, wants to be the peacemaker. But he also holds back how he really feels, so it becomes a mystery — does he actually like something, or is he just going along with it? I keep calling him out on it: do you actually want that for dinner, or are you just agreeing?

Mel: Disruptor.

Anne: There was another one — a woman whose father was supposed to dote on her, and he did none of that.

Mel: Her purpose was wild abandon. The image I got was her dancing in a field of wildflowers — completely unabashed joy, unabandoned love and freedom. Behaving in a way where someone says "put your clothes on" and she says, "I don't want to, look at me," and feeling totally free about it.

Mel: Other purposes came up in readings we did for people. I'd connect with someone's energy and see and hear things, while Annie would feel things and use the rods to confirm accuracy. We used to do full readings this way, and one of the things we found most often was a person's purpose for this lifetime — usually starting with a past life and how it fed into this one.

Mel: One woman's purpose was to unbutton that top button — don't go crazy, don't go ninety-five down the highway, but you can go five over the limit. In her past lifetime she'd taken "loosey-goosey" too far and robbed a bank. This time she buttoned everything all the way up and never let herself loosen at all. And funny enough, she works for a bank now.

Mel: Another reading — a woman wanted to know why her attempts at doing "amazing things" with her life weren't working out. She wanted the career, the recognition, the influencer path. And the answer was: you're just supposed to be. Just chill. The image I got was her lying on the sofa with chip dust on her shirt — like, hey, can you just be a C-average? Who says you have to strive?

Anne: And she was relieved. "Thank God."

Mel: Thank God, all the pressure. Another one — my husband Jimmy, an engineer. His purpose is stability. It has gotten on my nerves for as long as I've known him. I used to say if I died on a Wednesday, Jimmy would still go grocery shopping on Thursday. And when I'd joke about it, he'd say, "but people gotta eat." He is the steadiest man I've ever met. And I have no stable in me at all — nobody knows where I am or what I'm doing at any given time. For years I tried to change him, to make him happier by my definition of happy. For Jimmy, happy is balancing the checkbook, getting the alert that says "did you spend 99 cents on Apple." I'd say, listen, it's fine — and he'd say, I just want to make sure it was you. It's taken 25 years of marriage for spirit to show us that his purpose is to be stability. Now when he wants to sit down with a spreadsheet to plan groceries, I just say — yeah, that makes sense, if it makes you feel calm.

Mel: Truth is, for years he tried to get me to do things his way — make a list, write it down — and that is horrible for me. When I was unmedicated for ADHD I did need lists just to remember to put the toothbrush away, but generally, his way makes me feel overbearing, claustrophobic, like I need to run around the block. It doesn't work for me. But it makes sense that he's stability — because someone's got to be, in this ship.

Anne: Another one — my youngest son, Riley. His purpose is to try all these different things, and it grows into something he can work with. If he stays on a job for six months, that's amazing. My dad would say, "what the fuck, he needs to figure his shit out." Riley sold custom suits, then worked for another company, then started an appliance rental business — stuck with that almost a year, which felt incredible, and he actually did really well, made a lot of money. Then he stopped, because he was bored — he'd learned what he needed to learn there, and moved on to the next thing.

Anne: He went away to college instead of staying home, where we'd have paid for everything, and had to figure out how to pay rent himself — got creative, made Lego figures, did side hustles. That's what he's supposed to do. It wouldn't work for our other kids, but for him it makes total sense — I did his numerology and it explained it all. The world tells us there's one way to succeed, and that's just not true for everyone.

Mel: Just because something's working, and you're making money, doesn't mean you have to stay there. For Jimmy, building a stable foundation is the whole point — he's meant to stay at one job for 28 years, because that's where he's supposed to be stable. For Riley, that's just not his jam.

Anne: There have been times Jimmy's felt bad, though — like, why haven't I moved or done something else?

Mel: Because he's got friends who've moved around and done all kinds of things, and he compares himself. But that's not his purpose — stability is. Instead of trying to make someone else fit your mold, or fit theirs into yours, let everyone be themselves.

Anne: That understanding helps you stop being judgy — comparing yourself to other people, wondering why they're doing so well and you're not, or vice versa. Everyone's different. What works for one person doesn't work for another. It's not one-size-fits-all.

Mel: One woman's purpose was adventure. In her past life she was shown doing something adventurous, and in this one she's meant to go on adventures — but she's been saddled down. She owns an organic farm, does the work herself, and it kind of cripples her from actually going anywhere. After the reading she emailed us and said every day she now asks herself, "what kind of adventure could I have today?" Even if it's inside her existing work. It doesn't mean you have to blow up your whole life to match your purpose — you can incorporate it into the life you already have.

Mel: Then there was the one where someone's purpose is pain. I would not have believed that's true, and honestly I still struggle with it a little. But when we did that reading, her purpose was to experience pain in this lifetime — not just physical pain, but to choose not to treat it with pain medication. We had a hard time even sending her the video, because it felt awful. But it turned out she was also paying back karma from a previous life where she'd caused a lot of harm.

Mel: When she emailed us back, she said it was a relief — like the "C average" woman. She'd been trying to manifest her way out of the pain, wondering what she'd done wrong. The answer was: you haven't done anything wrong, you're doing it exactly right. And she said she'd never actually wanted the pain medication anyway.

Mel: They've described purpose to us like a rainbow of emotion — it's rarely tied to a specific job. Anne's husband is one of the only ones tied loosely to a field, and even then it wasn't a specific job, just "make some noise in the corporate world."

Mel: So I don't think knowing your purpose makes life easier. I don't think it clears up all the cobwebs.

Anne: No — it just makes you more aware. One more piece of the puzzle.

Mel: For some people it really does explain things, though.

Anne: They'd almost always start with a past life and how it fed into this one — what they brought forward. Another one that popped in — we did a reading for someone who did artwork and sold it online, and a friend of hers who'd gone to art school wasn't doing as well and was furious about it: "I got all this training and you didn't, and you're selling more than I am." The answer was, essentially, you're probably not doing what you're actually supposed to be doing. She had natural talent this other person didn't have — different purposes.

Mel: It's funny, because I always thought I was meant to strive, to work hard. I did — I broke my own body, and my business failed spectacularly. It was hard to end that chapter. Since then, things have come a little easier. Not that everything's sunshine and roses, but my body's not breaking anymore. Sometimes real life gives you clues, though they can be cryptic — like Annie's "blind cat," where you don't fully know what it means until later.

Mel: I used to get cluster headaches — I'd be in bed for days. As soon as I started recognizing what triggered them, I realized it was because I wasn't saying what needed to be said. Now I'll just say out loud, to whoever's around: sorry, I have to say something, because I'm not going to get a headache over you. I say it in a shitty way sometimes, and I've stopped judging myself for that. Sometimes the light is harsh when it's turned on, and that's me — and I love it. It's my purpose to say things out loud, so sit down and let me say them to you.

Mel: I've also learned the difference between saying something because spirit needs it said, and saying something because my ego wants to say it. I don't want to speak up just for my own pleasure, even though I do get pleasure from it — I want to do it because it needs to be done. So sometimes I'll ask spirit to make sure the door is wide open, so I know for certain it's spirit and not just me — that I'd have to make an actual effort to walk around it, not through it.

Anne: This just popped in my head — I used to have freak-out attacks riding in the car with my husband Tony, wanting to lose my shit over normal driving. Come to find out, I was killed in a car accident at nearly the same age I am now, in a past life. That explained a lot. It's gotten better, but I still just turn on a phone game and don't watch the road, honestly — please just hit the brakes in time.

Mel: You have to remind yourself: I'm safe now. But usually you'll get clues, and however you find out your purpose, it does feel right — even when it's hard. Doesn't mean it's easy, but it feels right.

Anne: There were times I finally used my voice really well — like telling off a contractor who was being a total pecker-head. It felt terrifying but exhilarating. I usually just suck it up and stay quiet, so telling him off felt amazing.

Mel: And what's funny is spirit just kept handing you opportunity after opportunity to use your voice, back when you were learning it.

Anne: I'd go to the rods and ask which contractor to use, and got a "yes" for the one who ended up being a total dork — still on his phone the whole time. I remember thinking, why would they want me to use this guy? Turns out it was so I'd have the chance to tell him off.

Mel: I had a similar thing — our life got calm for a stretch, some of our kids moved out, and I started having dreams about yelling at people, because I was struggling with the calm. I woke up one morning thinking, who can I be pissed at, what do I need to deal with that lets me be angry? I decided to call about some insurance/flex-spending nonsense, fully ready to rock and roll — and the guy on the phone was so nice I couldn't be upset with him to save my life. I didn't get anything I wanted out of the call, but it was like spirit handed me the opposite of what I expected, on purpose. Sometimes it's just: calm the fuck down, Mel — you're getting used to having a calm environment, and your nervous system needs to catch up.

Anne: So knowing the purpose does help, in that way — you go, "I see now."

Mel: In the moment it's tricky, but the more you practice recognizing it, the more it becomes clear in real time instead of only in hindsight.

Anne: And we're still human — we still get caught up in the emotion of things sometimes.

Mel: There are certain people I still struggle to say things to, and when I notice that, I'll ask spirit to make sure that door is open really wide, so I know for sure it's something that truly needs to be said, and not just my ego wanting the satisfaction. I get pleasure from saying things, but I don't want to do it only for that.

Anne: Right — because it needs to be done, not because you want to do it.

Mel: Exactly. So that's what we know about soul purposes for now.

Anne: Maybe next time we'll know more. Or not. Thanks for joining us — we'd love to hear from you. If you haven't already, share some of your own experiences of spirit knocking on your door.

Mel: All right, I'm Mel.

Anne: I'm Anne. See you next time.